today i was thinking about all those people who really truly believe that the world is about to end. i was thinking that they are lucky. what if i thought i had less than a week left to exist? i’d stop rationing my daily consumption of chocolate, for one. i’d send those letters that have been been hidden away under my desk beneath stacks of cowardice and weakness. i’d probably stop wearing clothes all together and maybe i’d push my car over a cliff just to hear the noise it made when it hit the earth. i’d stop holding back even my most latent opinions and slap a couple people and reintroduce the whole “free love” concept cause we’re all dead in a week, anyway. 

if everyone thought the world was ending this friday we’d all live for a week as if the rest of lives depended on it - i mean because it would. but most of us are pretty sure we’ll wake up saturday morning, maybe with a killer hangover but definitely alive. 

maybe that’s kind of a shame. 

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there are some things you should know. i hate secrets and i say things people don’t usually say. i write because i can’t be alone and when i write it’s to you. or to him or maybe her but this time it’s to you. so right now, in this moment, it’s because of you that i am not alone. i hate secrets but i am not honest. i say things people don’t usually say but i hide. i like the mystery of “anonymous”, mainly because i find it wildly romantic and i usually go for things that are wildly romantic. i write what i believe but not always what i live and though i try to live what i write i don’t always believe what i live. but that’s what it’s about i suppose, living and believing and trying desperately to find some balance in between.

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